Never date men with SMS passwords


Man is not what he thinks he is,
he is what he hides.
                         -André Malraux

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I have thought long and hard about why men have passwords on their phones. I would have consulted my ancestors but you see this technology precedes them. I would have consulted my peers but they would have an excuse. They always have an excuse for everything. So I sat down with my brain and said, “Brain, you need to give me something to work with here.  The right brain, the lazy side gave me “well its because every man has unfathomable dark secrets that he wishes to hide from the world”. The left side beat me with logic “well, its a smart thing to do if ever their phone gets stolen” 
“they have secrets that they don’t want people to know”, the right one insists.
“Thats also true, agrees the left.
I was suprised mainly because the brains have decided to work together today. It has always been a tag of war with these two. Take for example the time my right brain decided to be a poet. “But you can’t even rhyme!”the left said. Today they are working together I almost started screamin “its a miracle! Its a miracle!

I however  have a problem with men having passwords on SMS.

The story begins with me asking a friend of mine for a number “Tim, kindly give me Millies number”, I asked nicely.  He fishes out his phone to give me the number. Afew seconds later he is still fidgeting with his gadget. I look at him pen poised ready to jot down the number. I see him type this long password.
“Let me unlock my phone”, he says apologetically.
A couple of minutes more he goes
” I don’t think I saved her number. Let me check in the messages”. I nod.
I am amused now as he types a long password to get to his messages. He searches and can’t find the number.

” Let me check in this whatsapp group we are in together”, he says typing another long password to unlock his whats app.
I am now so amused I have forgotten what exactly I wanted from him.
“Don’t you get tired of all these passwords?” I ask him a half smile on my face. A smile that is supposed to hide my frustration.

I think phones are meant to make communication easy. If you find yourself going through a series of passwords to do the most basic things like texting I think you have a problem.

I thought of how hard it must be to date a man like Tim. To always wonder what secrets he is keeping. Some people would actually labell you insecure. Insecure for wondering why your boyfriend is so secretive. What does it say about Tim though?
I mean it was ok when you were sixteen to have passwords on the messages just incase your mom decideds to peruse your phone. But after a certain age this has got to stop.

I have a rule. You can take my phone and read all the messages if you like. Provided you don’t ask me what nani said or why I am speaking to so and so. I know the women folk have been accused of snooping on guys phones. I am not an advocate of that but I will tell you this for free, men snoop too. Maybe even more than women!

I would appreciate if someone sat me down and told me point blank,  “don’t touch my phone”. Of course he will be friend zoned so fast his head will spin, but he gets points for honesty.

But men like Tim are so paranoid of someone knowing their secrets to ever let their Sms’ be unprotected.  People with these types of behaviour are the ones you will find hanging from a ceiling and wonder what went wrong. I’ll tell you what went wrong, they let their secrets and fears define who they are.
How can you carry on a relationship with this guy.

People with these SMS passwords are closeted gay guys who have explicit relationships with  prominent members of parliament and feel the need to hide it. Or they are just catholic priests who have a knack for touching the altar boys in all the ‘wrong’places. or just the married man who has liasons with his mboch when the wife is away. There has to be a nasty secret for you to password protect your sms.

How do you live like this though. Why would your secrets imprison you like this.  Why would you live with the constant fear that you could be caught that you have to have a password for these things. I think these are the thoughts that girl had before stabbing her boyfriend 22 times. 

Is it thrilling to you? Do you get a natural high? What if one day you wake up in a hospital with amnesia. And the one thing that could restore your memory is buried deep in your messages. Ok, that is far fetched but I hope you get my point.

Imagine having your mpesa pin, three debit cards, two email addresses,  Three mobile applications a website or wordpress account and a Pc password. Then on top of that list you add an SMS password!   How do you survive the avalanche of passwords.
Unless you are those stupid people who have one password for everything. Dangerous and stupid!

When its all said and done men with SMS password are dangerous and as such stay away from them!


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10 thoughts on “Never date men with SMS passwords

  1. “I am not an advocate of that but I will tell you this for free, men snoop too. Maybe even more than women!”… im a man but will say this is true. they disgrace us

    though i still wonder what type of men y’all looking for coz it seems everything ain’t right bout us… Maybe someone will write about me commenting on this

    Liked by 1 person

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