Petition to get Bi Mswafari off our TV screens!!!


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I am seething inside. The sort of anger that makes a bull charge when he sees the matador waving a red flag.
Why do Kenyans allow such atrocities on TV? Week after week they sit, glued to their TV screens ready to watch the ‘re-known marriage counsellor,’ according to her facebook page.
Re-known? We can work with that. But marriage counsellor? Come on! She is more off a flag bearer for male chauvinism in Kenya. I like to think there is more to marriage than a man’s ego and self-importance. Her page goes on to say she is internationally recognized! Wait a minute, you mean the international community also tunes in to watch this?!

There is also a page of 4224 men as at now who agree with her views. The page states thus
“Recently, there is a TV program that has come to
the rescue of men against the modern lady. She
gives a motherly advice on how ladies should handle
their men, husbands and fiancés”.

I don’t know whether to cry for Kenyan men or laugh so hard that the devil will hear me. So, women need a manual on how to treat men but men don’t need one on how to treat women? Why does the modern woman scare the modern man so much? Unless of course there are no modern men.
Are our men so stuck in the past they don’t see that society is changing?!

For those who don’t know who she is (highly doubtful since she has an international audience) she comes on Citizen TV every Saturday, a few seconds after the 7:00 pm news. They decided to add a male chauvinist in the mix. It doesn’t get any better than that!
I don’t care about the adults watching this atrocity, they are probably chauvinistic and disempowered people anyway. I am worried about the kids forced to watch this thing. Saturdays are those days our kids can stay up late watching anything and everything that comes on TV. So you will forgive me for hating this program with every fibre of my being.
Someone pointed out that Kenyan media dumps information down to fit the majority of the public. Well, Citizen TV has done quite a good job of doing just that with this program.

This woman is Poison to our children! To Mary, the top student in Newlight academy. Probably a child with thick glasses whose dream is to work hard pass her exams and become a doctor. Bi. Mswafari is saying, ‘Mary, you need to cater to you husband day and night. Your husband comes first. So yes you will work twenty-hour shifts but make sure when your husband gets home, you greet him at the door with a curtsey, find out how his day was and then feed him properly.’ So on hearing this Mary will realize that marriage is probably not for her.
To Joseph she is saying, study hard get a job, it doesn’t have to be a well-paying job because people have to understand your lack of ambition. When you have your job you can take a pick at your own personal slave. Be careful not to get someone like Mary who will have a decent conversation with you about life and death. No. Find a woman who makes you feel like a king; who takes your wish to be her command. A woman who will have enough time to come home before you and prepare a meal fit for a king while you put your legs up and watch TV. While doing this profess to the world that there is nothing like an obedient wife who when you say jump, will ask “how high master?” Don’t even worry about things like mpango wa kando and rape, your wife should understand when you do all these things. After all, what do women expect you to do when they wear skimpy dresses and they know you don’t have self-control. Don’t even worry about HIV and AIDS you will sort it out with your wife when it happens.

Let’s talk about that rape issue for a second. I need to point out that there is never an excuse for rape! If there were we wouldn’t have 2-month-old babies being raped!!!! So no, women don’t need prayers men need to be taught restraint.
This woman is the worst person to preach empowerment to our children. Empowerment is not only for the girl child. A boy child should also be empowered so as not to feel inferior when in the presence of the modern day woman. What we need to realize is that there are houses in this day and age where the women have taken up male roles. Because society is fluid like that. Don’t let someone like Bi Mswafari lie to you that everything is as it was 30 years ago.

How do you condone such a woman talking to your daughter about living her life to please her husband? After watching this why do you pay school fees for that particular girl? Why not just keep her at home and show her how to please a husband at home? It will save you school fees and prevent her from calling herself a modern day woman or as Bi Mswafari calls them, ‘Wasomi’.What did ‘wasomi’ ever do to this woman? Do they look down on her? Does she even have a daughter? I will fly off the bat here and speculate that she doesn’t have a daughter. I also think she hates her daughter-in-law if she has one.
Even my mum disagrees with her viewpoint.

Either citizen T.V should get this woman out of our living rooms and off our screens (very unlikely so I’ll hold up on the forms ) or balance her obvious bile with a humanitarian person in the panel! Cera Njagi anyone?
We are saying no to slavery!

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246 thoughts on “Petition to get Bi Mswafari off our TV screens!!!

  1. Well said, empowerment is for all, males and females alike. However, being submisive has nothing to do with slaverey. Likewise, any man whose life is not commited to his family with fervent dedication SHOULD in no way expect submision. This gesture is reseved for husbands, not boys. In retrospect, only submisive wmen have the complete dediction of there husbands, and kindly note the use of the word husband over any other.

    It is my opinion that there is no modern woman and modern man, only the continous improvement in concious understnding of our ability to influence one another positively, and the roles we can undertake effectively. As such, our innate desire for loving and caring life partners, whether learned or not, remains the same and would receive a push in the right direction from those who’ve done it before succesfully. Bi Mswafiri may have, in my opinion, the best solution to be implemented as addition to one’s career life in order to be complete life partner. When viewed in excluusivity, both her additions and one’s eduction have detriments remidied only by collabortion and fusion of ideas.
    Regards, Eugene.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for that sober argument. My issue with her teaching is that it’s completely one sided. It is always a woman’s fault when a marriage doesn’t work. If the man hits his wife it is because of her nagging. If he rapes someone it’s because the woman dresses skimpily.
      I do agree that a man who fulfills his husbandly duty deserves a woman who will do her wifely duty.

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    2. I don’t find anything wrong with Bi Msafwari’s teachings. In fact last weekend she taught men how to take care of their wives. She may be more inclined towards male chauvinism but there is no harm in that. The man is the head of the house and needs the respect of the family but at the same time the wife is the flower of the house and must be loved and appreciated. The problem with single ladies who can’t get men is that they are now misleading other women into acting as if the man should not be respected as a husband. The mentalities being peddled around by the likes of single ladies like Caroline Mutoko and the author of this article, will never get ladies anywhere. Single women who want husbands are so desperate and the last thing they need are flawed and deceitful teachings from women who can’t get men into their lives. Your big house or job does not make you as a woman the head of the house. What men want from women, regardless of the size of her purse, is respect and someone to take are of the house.

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      1. In my books am equal to a man. Let me illustrate how I feel when am told am inferior to a man. It’s like if someone told you you’re inferior to a white man just coz you were born black. Get now how it feels? Would you accept being told the white man is your superior? No? Neither would I!

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    3. Your both wrong and right. At the end of the day no book, TV channel,blog publication or whatever that can translate the chemistry that two people share, It is not the same in every couple its different and totally unique. How one handles their relationship counts on a set of unwritten laws etched in your hearts. and with this everything else will fall in place as it was meant to be.

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    1. This is just an expression of emotions as opposed to the writer transmitting sense. The institution of marriage is gendered and the roles played by either party speak so much to its success. What a husband ought to do to the wife and vice-versa is of extreme vitality if the institution is to stand the test of time. If a woman ought to cook, a man provide and protect so be it, modernism notwithstanding.

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    2. that’s true Philip… nobody held a gun on anyone to watch her do whatever they claim she does.. simply turnoff ur set n go to sleep,,, that’s the best way to avoid colliding ur filthy heart!!…

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  2. Thank you…. I’ve been saying the exact same thing! The sight or mention of her contorts my stomach! It makes me boil.. I listened to her once and was like really? My own mum was like really? I’m unable to can with this woman. I support this petition

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  3. what now??..you think we are all equal now.. Wives, submit yourselves to your own
    husbands as you do to the Lord.Eph 5:22-33.. you think those who wrote that were drank.. if you think we equal pick up a tab on a date n pay the bill n give a man a break.. pay those fuckin bills .. if nat sit your fuckin’ ass down n cook for that man..

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    1. There’s nothing like quality if the woman is not yet ready to pay a Bill. Let’s not confuse favors for equality. As far as I know women are not prohibited from applying for any job they’re qualified for. Then why is it that it’s the man’s duty to pay bills? Times have changed…the woman should also change with the times.

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    2. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it. 26 He did this to dedicate the church to God by his word, after making it clean by washing it in water, 27 in order to present the church to himself in all its beauty—pure and faultless, without spot or wrinkle or any other imperfection. 28 Men ought to love their wives just as they love their own bodies. A man who loves his wife loves himself. (29 None of us ever hate our own bodies. Instead, we feed them, and take care of them, just as Christ does the church; 30 for we are members of his body.) 31

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      1. Exactly. What men don’t realize is that their duty to the wives is heavy and much more stringent than wives to husbands. Christ was beaten and humiliated for us. He took our wrong to make us right with the Father. His love for us is pure, unconditional and eternal. According to the word, that is the way Husbands are supposed to love their Wives.

        If Husbands did what they were supposed to do, loved us and treated us like they were instructed by God to do, there is no way we’d mind respecting him. No way. There’s no way we’d mind submitting to them, but we don’t because we don’t, can’t, trust them.

        Why in the world, should women continue to do the obeying when men won’t love us the way God loves us? Why should we respect someone who doesn’t know how to handle money and is constantly causing financial straits for his family? Someone who can’t be faithful? Someone who has no regards for our feelings? Who acts like we’re only there to be his personal servant? That is not the way Christ loves us. The burden of love is not on the wives, it’s on the husbands. The burden of caring for us, being humiliated for us, dying for us, is on the husbands, not the wives.

        What I don’t understand is whey Men want something for nothing. Why you want all this respect when you’ve done NOTHING to deserve it? You think because you got something dangling between your legs that it automatically belongs to you?

        Puh-lease! Get real!

        So, yes, tweedle is right. Don’t quote the Bible selectively. Let’s quote it in its entirely. Women, respect your husbands, but only marry the men who will love you the way Christ loves you. When you do, then I PROMISE you, your husband will not have to demand your respect. You will happily give it.

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      1. Petra… You are wrong to say that women should wait for the men to love their wives only then they qualify to be submitted to. The law that women should submit to their husbands is between women and God the author of marriage. So women should submit to their husbands even when they don’t love them!! As well men should love their wives irrespective of whether the women are submissive or not!!! Remember the words in the bible are not authored by men or women! This is the word of God!! You don’t obey it God will have an issue with you and not your partner. I think the writer of this so called petition lacks basic biblical understanding. From where I sit Bi Msafwari argues basing her arguments on the bible which insists on Forgiveness and she is right and she will be right because no one can fight God and win including the petitioner!

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      1. your thinking is wrong how can you compare death for a sleep? every one has a role in the house and like you know man is the head of the family and the woman the neck,and hence the two not equal i say.

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  4. You do realise that not everyone is a Christian right?
    Oh and I can pick up a tab. but this was not about equality, it’s about treating women with respect. Marriage is a partnership not a battle of who pays the bills.
    Oh and since you use the good book’s examples is it right to cuss?

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    1. I know you trying to get out of the woods.. putting up some controversial writings.. but when you make it out from the bottom,please go write something good and maybe i’ll be reading you on the new york times someday.. for now that Miss independent attitude isn’t a good idea,it may get you single forever just write about el nino n those other shit..ooh n i know yu christian..yu gatta be one..

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      1. Hahahah. The thing about writing is that you don’t choose what topic to write on unless its your job. I don’t think marriage is the say all and end all of this life. If I never marry, it won’t be the biggest tragedy in this life. Let me practice my craft, who knows maybe one day you will read me on The New York times 🙂

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      2. This article not even my main beef. When I heard that she blames womens’ attitudes and style of dressing for any sexual violence they have to endure that’s when I got involved. Still I would love to see her defend herself against a panel of people as previously suggested.

        Also andanje I have been unable to “like” any post written here as the site wouldn’t accept my password although I had no trouble replying to other people who have written their opinion here. Small issue with receiving replies to my posts on this site; had to scroll from top to bottom to find them.

        Great post and conversation starter andanje keep up the good work.😁😊

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    2. Even in the New York times i’ll be there commenting and calling a spade a spade.. you need these comments bad or good.. they either build you or break you..every writer needs that.. but you good in what you do.. salute!..Waiting for you at the top 😉

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  5. This is a very good publicity stance you have pulled here. I think outside the box and I have looked critically at the details you have provided. You should be hired for more publicity and Public relations works…

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  6. you talk rubbish,Marriage is like a fulltime job,never apply when not ready. there must be a difference between a wife and a club hopper (socialite)/ ladies man.

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  7. I am a modern day woman thanks to my parents who ensured that I got educated, I have a master’s degree so I am “Msomi”. I stopped watching Citizen because I can’t stand that woman being in my living room and giving crappy advice, my husband hates her too and thinks she is a retrograde!
    There is more to marriage than removing a man’s coat or acting like his slave, my husband would never allow me to do such things because he knows it would affect my self esteem which he holds dear and that’s love…..people have different ways of expressing love!

    My husband and I will sign that petition….my dad and mum will sign it as well… so where is it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Claire. Not everyone that disagrees with her has a bad marriage. In fact I know people who would follow her advice to a T and have a miserable marriage. I tend to think marriage is as per you and your patner and your rules not some rules that favour one gender

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  8. in my opinion respect is earned and not gained.i believe that as much we have all this crazy feminist theories.it reaches a time when we will crave to have a family.i believe that submission is key to every marriage.the moment i submit to him chances that he will reciprocate respect to me.i think its a mutual thing.

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  9. Andanje or whoever you call yourself. God created a woman out of a man’s rib if what I was taught in CRE is anything to go by. Please respect the work of God and get a life. Stop this business of misleading young girls to end up in single motherhood like the one you are currently leading.

    Bi Mswafari tells it as it happens and as it is supposed to be biblically.

    Bring that baseless petition and shame will follow you the rest of your life.

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    1. We love to attack each other with the Bible don’t we? if it tells you to turn your wife into a slave then by all means carry on with your life. But it doesn’t!
      if my post is misleading people then your argument couldn’t be airtight.
      Now, do me a favour find yourself a nice girl who won’t listen to me. After all no one is holding a gun to their heads. I just hope you find a verse that will defend rape and cheating!

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      1. There are so many verses madam and the bible doesn’t say a woman is the slave. It only says be submissive period!!!! The man is told to love his wife where are you people getting this slavery from?

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  10. I agree with you, this lady is one sided (and a bit in the past too), and BTW am a guy. It is also true that some ladies these days are lazy and tend to think that the only fundamental they bring to the marriage table is sex, and from that you should feed and provide for them like a pet. On the other hand, there are men who do not deserve to have a submissive wife. This is a issue that cannot be discussed in a single television show or in a single article like this. Ultimately, (although I am single and not experienced on matters of marriage), I think a happy and successful marriage cannot be defined in any number of words, except to say that it starts where two people mutually care for each other so much that the other person’s happiness is more important than one’s own happiness. But in this selfish generation, where love is more commercial than anything else, and trust is only as real as a unicorn, I wonder whether such a relationship based on mutual care and affection is possible.

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  11. i dont see any sensible point in your article…just mere prattle.Reason why Bi.Safari is invited and paid to host that show is because she comes from a community that commands a high caliber of moral standards.That is something that civil people(i doubt you are one) admire alot,a society governed by ratinal norms and values that vet out conflict.Am disgusted by your elevated level of egocentrism…

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    1. Dr. you would think that someone with such
      a title would articulate his thoughts in a
      more civil manner. but I guess we are all
      uncivilized human beings.
      What is it about my post that irked you so
      much? Is it because I think the woman’s
      work is to attack fellow women? Yes, she is
      being paid to hate on her kind. I am not
      being paid fot defending my kind. I see
      why you may be disgusted by my
      egocentrism!

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  12. I’m a modern lady,well educated and beautiful. I support Bi Msafwari.Her teachings ate good and I will implement them.If you love your man you will not find it hard and punishing to do those things.they will win his trust,faithful and absolute love.

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    1. The sad thing is that those things will not keep a man glued to the marriage, you should only do them when and if there is mutual love an affection from both sides. In the absence of mutual caring and affection, he will still be a useless husband, and probably cheat on his wife with a gold-digging “whore” who is after his money and not love. Those things that Mswafiri says women should do are not the means to a happy marriage, but sings of a happy marriage. Mswafiri is right but the problem is that she makes it look like that is what a lady should do to keep her man. A good man will stay even without those things, but at the same time a good lady will not find it hard to do those things for her husband, career or no career. The man should also reciprocate by loving her woman, not because she does them, but because he cares for her. The other thing is that, if my understanding serves me well, the main issue in this article is that Mswafiri is too one sided. Yes, women need to be more wifery, but so do guys need to be mature and well rounded husbands and fathers. In other words it takes two to tango. I am a guy and sure, I like a lady who knows and likes to cook and do those things, but the way Mswafiri says it makes her look too misogynistic and also creates the wrong impression that doing those things will keep a man around. Ironically, the most cheating irresponsible husbands are the ones who have the msot submissive wives who do all those things. I am not married but have friends who are married and it seems that those with good wives are the ones who cheat the most.

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      1. Wow… I love your way of thinking. Very pragmatic.A good man will stay no matter what. Washing a man’s feet will not make him stay. Of course I am not advocating for slacking as there are male and women roles. Awesome post Adanje

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  13. I am not sure why we find it so hard to just pick up the remote control and change the channel or retune our radios. I hear this very same argument about Maina and Kagenis program on kiss 100.

    Your views are valid coz they are yours n u r entitled to them. For all those throwing insults at the lady for sharing her views, grow up.
    I however, do not believe in modern women or modern men. There are just modern ways of living n modern structures. This is what we adjust to. A woman is just that n a man is just that.

    Does Bi Mswafari have a point? Yes she makes sense to a certain woman. That woman isn’t me all the time either, only coz I am exposed to expect more from the men in my life. But there is a woman who’s world is at that point. Let her enjoy her viewing. There is also a ‘modern’ woman who’s marriage isn’t working as is, n maybe she is thinking of picking one doable thing from all Mswafaris ranting, let her.

    My conclusion is this: take what u r willing to try n leave the rest. If you hate it don’t put yourself thru it, change the channel. And most importantly stop behaving like parental control is not a real thing. You must decide for your children what they will watch on TV. It’s your TV, you are the parent. Those are some of the things, this ‘modern’ pple have to deal with.

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    1. Steve Mwaniki and Bea Muringi, i am so glad that there are still people like you. Steve you are right both men and women must first care fore each other genuinely above all else, but sadly it is true that each wants something for nothing or wants more from the other than they themselves are willing to give. Bea Muringi i am thankful that there you spoke up to let people on this forum know that they are responsible for their own lives, let us not point fingers and blame other people yet we too are part of the problem, we are responsible for what we watch and for what our children watch so let us not surrender our parenting roles to the tv and then point fingers at it for giving the children wrong information. The question should be where were we when the children were getting this information and why did we not just change the channel and tell them the right information. Men and women are equal, they also play different roles. Roles that when taken up correctly will build both loving husband and loving wife, however when husband and wife only want to struggle for power…… we end up with a broken society like we have today.

      Adanje,
      Personally i do not watch much tv anymore (i feel there isn’t much content that benefits me anymore other than the news), but i support you that if the show is one sided, then it should be balanced out. women are not the cause of ALL problems in marriage and neither is it men who cause ALL problems either, there are two people in a relationship, if it is going wrong then both parties have a problem to deal with. It would be much better to solve the problem rather than tear each other down trying to pass off blame. (and we wonder where our politicians got such behavior?) if all one does is pass blame back and forth guess what people? The problem doesn’t get solved.

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  14. You know, for something to air on TV or radio, there has to be good ratings for the program to keep airing. If still there no matter how annoying it would seem, means the ratings are high. So many people watch it.
    The argument will be, Do YOU have to watch it, do you have to follow what she says, in short, you can change the channel, and she’s giving her opinion and you don’t have to follow it. I know it sounds mean, but the truth. Good luck

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  15. I once watched her, she was talking about how girls are raped by their fathers, step fathers or close male relatives. She said it happens because the wives are not approachable by their daughters or their husbands and that they should teach their girls how to relate decently to the males in the house to avoid it. It has never left my mind, it was so awful watching. I don’t think I’ll ever bring myself to watch that horror again. Let the kids watch Disney junior at that time.

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      1. The rape culture has reduced rape to nothing but a woman’s fault. Wondered why we even have types of rape these days? Legitimate rape…
        Aty ‘oh, stupid girl was drunk. ‘ call it alcoholic rape! They were intoxicated! Rape is rape. It’s no woman’s fault – how then would you explain a two year old getting raped?

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  16. Where is that petition I sign. We teach our girls to value marriage but don’t instill the same values to the boys.That is why we have men who can’t and won’t commit and women who are abused day and night. It takes both the man and woman’s effort to make a marriage work.It’s high time ladies said no to mediocrity.If a man cheats in you,uses and abuses you,you have no business being with him.And oh yeah….a woman being independent is such an attractive thing.You better be single than trapped in an unhappy marriage.

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  17. I hate the fact that she is impartial and I also doubt her skills… People in this country need to differentiate talents and skills… You can practice your talents better when you are trained how…. Why…. When… Where…. To apply the skills….. I don’t exactly like the programme

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  18. Dr. you would think that someone with such a title would articulate his thoughts in a more civil manner. but I guess we are all uncivilized human beings.
    What is it about my post that irked you so much? Is it because I think the woman’s work is to attack fellow women? Yes, she is being paid to hate on her kind. I am not being paid fot defending my kind. I see why you may be disgusted by my egocentrism!

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  19. Does she talk to you????? Whatever she says, is it directly to you??? whatever she says is it law to you?????? Are you the only one watching her show???????as the saying goes by Nyumba ni Mwanamke!!! ARightious woman builds her home.

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  20. I strongly support the idea of getting Bi.Msafwari off the screen. Her reasoning is totally backdated. The guy who comes to back up her idea of men ruling over women and treating them like slaves in marriage irritates the more. She advises the society to blame wives for all family problems and the shortcomings of their husbands. #BIMSAFWARIMUSTGO!!!!

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  21. Let’s examine the source of discomfort among women. This discomfort lies in the traditional culture which defines what a good woman should do or behave in a society. This kind of chauvinist ideology is what Mswafari and her old school ilk impress even in the 21st century. It, indeed is patriarchy. It promotes belief that women are innately inferior to men.

    The belief that men are superior to women has been used to maintain chauvinists egocentrism for ages. The inferior posisition Mswafari reduces women to is not her fault. It’s a culturally transmitted and unfortunately by insecure males and females alike. It’s an insult to gender equity, the government is spending billions on, to a achieve some development in backward societies in Kenya.

    I watched your programme, Mswafari, and I felt sorry for your subjective advice. Where is that petition form, I’ll sign her off my screen!

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  22. So on point. I don’t listen to her neither can I allow my child to listen to her. Period. She is retrogressive to the progress we are making in women empowerment. If I was that lady whose husband hosted a baby shower and invited Bi. Mswafari as a guest speaker, I would call my doctor immediately and fake diarrhoea. And leave those people there. I wouldn’t risk my baby listening to that kind of nonsense. Not to mention I would consider divorcing that man. Because I know myself and I know I can’t do some of those stupid things. (My own mother never did them, neither did my grandmother, who am I?)
    Any man who needs to make his wife do all this things for him to feel loved has self esteem issues. At this time and age you want your coat to be removed for you to feel loved? Get a life.
    There is no reason whatsoever for rape, all rapists have to be hanged. Men should just learn self control.

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  23. i fully agree. as a modern man, i believe in empowering my woman. to say this show is outdated is an understatement. i feel like these are the small things that prevent our Nation from moving forward. we need to emancipate ourselves from our silly traditions. Her views are dangerous! it needs to go. what kind of man would want his woman bare footed in the kitchen in 2016? we can hire people for that. how are Kenyan men this intimidated by women? lets empower our women so they can nurture our children and therefore our nation.

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  24. Had no idea she Bi was this bad. As they say though, you can’t argue with a fool. A woman who advocates rape is a mental case, uneducated or otherwise. If testimonies from the average man in Kenya are anything to go by, men here will do anything to cheat on their wives simply because they feel like they deserve more than one “flavour” in life. You really can’t win. I can understand WANTING to do these things when you are so much in love but from what I’ve seen, it’s unlikely to guarantee his faithfulness to you.
    Let Mama Bi tell us how successful these views have been in her own marriage (it seems she is a widow) and in the lives of her children, in-laws and other extended family. What PROOF does she have that these views will ensure a long and happy marital life? What did that husband die of again…….?

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    1. See in this life nothing is guaranteed. You will do everything she says and you could still be as unhappy as people who don’t. Plus to agree with these sentiments is to say that only ‘good’ women get married. Which is obviously not the case!

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  25. honestly I thought I was the only one who saw her reflection on marriage as one sided . men have to be treated as kids otherwise he will supposedly run to mpango wa kando since she can contain his selfish pride. it seems women are too work so hard to please their men or be deemed as failures. To hell with her thoughts . I think women should work twice as hard as in proverbs 31 in her business her marriage and family. Her life is more than the role of a wife. Her husband should praise her as in prov 31. People forget God told the husband to love the wife as He loves himself and later told the wife to submit. It is easier to submit when someone loves you. Men should also work twice as hard I’m their marriage and business and family. They shouldn’t be excused to cheat just cause you cant iron his shirt better than another woman. Finally my heart is at rest knowing am not the only one tolerating her unreasonable judgement and choice of word. Tutaendelea kuwa wasomi.
    *signs of with a smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. This is just another petition from a feminist to the core. Firstly, no man will eat your titles and degrees, what a man wants in his house is to be served by the woman who he painstakingly paid for dowry and catered for her wedding. You want a man to be the head of the house, a protector and have all those qualities that make him a leader but yet you want him to share responsibilities in the house like cleaning and cooking. Things cannot work like that. For a man to do such things it has been out of his own volition but for the lady that is her obligation. Instead of women trying to be like men they should concentrate on being more feminine and having that guile and wisdom that will enable them succeed in marriage life. Bi Mswafari speaks alot of sense and she comes from a community that is known for low divorce and single-parent rates. Moreover, your opinion laced with bashing of masculinity cannot carry the day and will never solve the current marriage conundrum. Lastly, submissiveness is not being weak, its a trait that modern ladies can only learn from the likes of Bi Msafari,

    Like

    1. What community of low divorce rates? Isn’t this the community where wives are getting stabbed in their faces only for their families to say “we knew it was bad but not this bad”. You are promoting a community of oppressed women who do not have the choices to select their own husbands or the means/know-how to leave when they are being abused.
      Women should not submit to men who do not love them with their whole hearts and behave accordingly.

      Liked by 2 people

    2. “is to be served by the woman who he
      painstakingly paid for dowry and catered
      for her wedding. ”
      That statement made me dismiss your rant. You are those entitled males who believe when you pay dowry you will own your wife like a sheep! Dowry was ment to say thank you to the brides family for raising such a fine woman not to give you the title of master as she serves you!
      “For a man to do such
      things it has been out of his own volition
      but for the lady that is her obligation.” From that line can you see why I have a problem with chaivinists?!

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Bring the form so we can sign the petition . People who talk like her have a very low opinion of themselves(low self esteem).She should go . can’t have someone confusing peoples families.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

    23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

    24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

    25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

    26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

    27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

    28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

    29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

    30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

    31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

    32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

    33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

    I have seen that some have taken part of this wonderful passage to support their argument. The truth is you are both half right and that means you are both wrong. The Bible when read should be taken in it’s entirety, in it’s context. Here the writer is saying that women submit yourselves to the husband as unto the Lord. Christians submit themselves to God so the writer is saying that women should submit to their husbands LIKE they would submit to God. Why? the reason is given that the husband is the head of the wife AS Christ is the head of the church and He is the Savior of the body. As the church is subject to Christ so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Then it comes to the husbands. It tells the husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Christ was a ransom for the sins of the world. Can you imagine a king leaving his palace and going to live in the streets with the beggars just because he loved them? That’s the same love Christ showed when He left heaven to come to earth and die for our sins. That is unconditional love. It did not matter if man spat, kicked, and beat Him up all that was in His mind was love. Well that is the kind of love men are supposed to show to their wives. You don’t love your wife because she takes your coat and curtseys, you love her because it’s your duty. And ladies you submit to your husband the same way too. So if a wife submits to the husband regardless and the husband loves the wife regardless that is going to be a successful marriage. Either way, both become one flesh in other words one body. I have never seen a hand trying to do the legs job and vice versa. Imagine the husband is the head and the wife is the neck they are dependent upon each other. One cannot work well without the other. That’s a successful marriage.

    Like

    1. “The Bible when read should be taken in it’s entirety, in it’s context.” this has to be the dumbest thing I’ve read on today. sure lets go ahead and jail people for wearing cotton as well as reinstate slavery. you have to understand that the bible was written 2000 years ago. it goes without saying that things have changed. looking down on and expecting women to be submissive purely because go their sex would have worked back then but in 2016 the idea is laughable.

      Like

      1. You must think I was dumb saying that statement. Here let me explain, it must be taken in it’s entirety meaning that “those things are written for our examples” that’s a Bible verse by the way. And in it’s context, that means who is speaking? To whom is He speaking? Why? When? How? If you ask yourself these questions you will understand the Bible. Now about the cotton I must have missed where God told Christians to wear cotton. And slavery mmmhhh, must’ve missed that too. Did you know that Christians , those who have believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, are free from the law (of course I mean the law that was outlined for the Israelites just in case you come up with an idea that I said the law of the land). I will quote for you Romans 7:6 we are delivered from the law. So why was the law given Romans 7:7 to know sin. I would not know lust is bad except the law had said, thou shall not covet. The law was given to show us that we are not perfect. We cannot fulfill all the law. We steal, we kill, we lie. We are not perfect that is why we needed a ransom Jesus Christ. Now back to what you said. Do you believe that in everything we do there is a consequence? The consequence of sin was that the woman became subject to man Genesis 3. GOD NEVER INTENDED IT TO BE THAT WAY. Adam and Eve WERE EQUAL UNTIL THEY SINNED. So next time you take a part of something be sure you check your facts straight first then say something. By the way I never said all the responsibility laid on the woman respecting the man. It is two way. The man also has the responsibility to “take care of the woman as a weaker vessel” another biblical quote. A woman is not to be mistreated. So sir I’ll say it again, next time check your facts straight before you talk. By the way the last person who wrote the Bible wrote it 2000 years ago. The Bible was written from about 1440 BC and guess who was the first one to write the Bible? Moses. That’s where you find the Torah, which means law, which was given to the Israelites to set them apart. Why? Christ the Savior of the world was going to come through the Jewish line.

        Like

  29. No need for petition, if you dislike her just switch to another Tv station. There are so many programmes in the tele-media we dont love but nobody petitions to have them removed; the reason being the diverse nature of the audience!

    Like

    1. But when a woman is actively blaming females for getting raped by male members of her family or blaming rape victims for encouraging it by dressing a certain way then there is a problem. We have a duty to find out why she feels this way because it is abnormal and get her off our screens so that she can get the help she needs to understand that it is evil to blame a woman for a man’s inability to ‘control himself.’

      Like

  30. Well written, Ajay.I love the flow and choice of words. Keep it up.

    I am however of the opinion that Bi Mswafiri has a point(Not necessarily right/wrong), but we choose to misunderstand what she says and blow it out of proportion because of our own selfish ambitions.

    Maybe seeking to understand her and her point of view will be of help. She is entitled to her opinions,and it is uncalled for to sign a petition just because we disagree.

    Change channels or do something better (when she’s on air) and let those who benefit from her teachings learn. What is “slavery” to you has another name to others. And what works for her will not work for others, but the little truths could be of help for those who buy her views.

    My opinion. Peace

    Like

    1. Thank you Liz. In the same spirit that we should let her remain with her opinion shouldn’t I also be left to remain with my opinion. Why do we always try to avoid things as Kenyans?. Why am I being encouraged to ignore?
      My opinion.

      Like

      1. If I may (please) – no one is petitioning that your blog be shut down because you express your opinion (which is effectively what you are doing to Bi). I agree with Liz by the way. We do not have to silence those whose opinions we disagree with. Thank you

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  31. Useless….I thought you had a point. She is biased! y is your story crap biased as well??? come on pay for your DSTV if you got one and use your remote. Get busy with your life. Nonsense.

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    1. But I do have a point you just can’t see it. I refuse to change the channel. I refuse to do what kenyans love doing which is ignoring issues and waiting for them to go away. Why didn’t you read another post when you found mine did not agree with you?

      Like

  32. Y do u choose such a long rout to get her off your screen when a remote control would do?????????????????/??? Complaining about someone doing her job that she is paid to do the way she knows best…If u want to know u wasting ur time talking abt someone else making her life better…its simple..no one will pay u for this!!!! If u wana do advocacy…get to TI, FIDA n stuff…that is where this will make sense….simple. U got no idea wat marriage is to yap like this on the web abt it!!!! Marry first and do a second attempt sister.

    Like

    1. Wow. For an advocate of live and let live you sure got riled up with my post. Why not take your own advice and change the channel.
      I am not being paid to do this, she is being paid to do what she does, see the difference? Or do I need to come up with tutorials?
      Are you married? Happily married? Unhappily married? Does it make you feel better to tell me to get married?

      Liked by 1 person

  33. See in this life nothing is guaranteed. You will do everything she says and you could still be as unhappy as people who don’t. Plus to agree with these sentiments is to say that only ‘good’ women get married. Which is obviously Not the case!

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  34. I am of the honest that this author is more unbalanced than Bi.
    I can only read passionate hate.

    I ask if men have a long list of ‘how to’ from the bookshops to magazines and churches, why is a decent lady offering her opinions, THAT YOU ARE NOT BOUND TO LISTEN TO OR ACCEPT a big issue to you?
    its your ears and eyes, your TV in your house and your children…YOUR CHOICE!
    Don’t make this a matter of public concern. there is nothing criminally enticed or prejudicial she propagates. by the way, enough of your forcing down our throats your brand of ’empowered woman’. social evolution is not as fast as you want neither is your understanding of life the ‘gospel truth’.
    cool down.

    Like

    1. “Don’t make this a matter of public concern.
      there is nothing criminally enticed or
      prejudicial she propagates.”
      Quick question, where does her saying ‘rape victims brought it upon themselves’ fall?
      but of course this should not be a public concern according to you.
      Public concern is how a woman should receive her man when he comes home right?
      I think we are definitely in different schools of thought.

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  35. This woman irritates me a lot….i remember that day she was discussing about physical abuse in marriage,and she was advising women to KNEEL down after being beaten and ask their husbands,”mume wangu leo umenichapia nini?”
    I have never listened to her since that day…..and for the petition ill even sign it twice.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She did what? if that is true then this is definitely one of the most dangerous show on tv today. how can a woman advice another to plead at the knees of her attacker? try that in a modern society and there will be a public outcry. It saddens me that my beloved men is filled with chauvinistic bird brained men but what really pisses me off is the women who support such behavior. you’re a human being damn it! your life has value. we can not raise another generation of such men. this show needs to go.

      Like

  36. I thought thats why a remote control has 9 digits + a zero to enable switch channels.Kama hauna remote tumia tv buttons.Utasumbua Jirani hadi lini kuona tv kwake?…Don’t be a slave of Bi Msafwari,i think you like the program but you re living in denial

    Like

  37. First she should shed her humongous weight coz she just a turn off. Or does she also advocate for wives to have that much weight in their marriage. Wait a minute she does advocate for women to be men’s slaves and have not time for themselves which will make them fat and finally men have mwk even after wiping his ass and licking his toes nkt. Where is that form my hubby n I want to sign.

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    1. LOL! Harsh but true. A woman giving all sorts of ‘sage’ advice while struggling with obesity and no husband at her side to back her up is a little hard to take seriously.

      Like

  38. The petition about removal of bi Mswafari off the screens is quiet an eye opener. It seems to have some merit. On the other hand it doesn’t offer guidance on how to proceed. It cannot be that all that she says on TV does not make sense… surely a good portion does. However it may be that she’s bin given free reign and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Maybe we need to have a balance of opinions…the far right the far left and the middle ground so all perspectives are discussed debated and where possible consensus reached. In other words we have at least two (or three if possible) panelists of diverse pursuation to consider and deliberate on the issues. This will lead to a balanced discussion and enable the audience make their own decision having heard all pespectives. I submit.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Bullshit! why watch the program if it does not please you? that is why we have options, we have so many channels nowadays…must you watch Citizen TV Saturday evenings? Get a life…I can’t believe you have time for such petitions!

    Like

  40. You should read the BIBLE proverbs 14.1 ‘Every woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands’. Note, it doesn’t say ‘Every MAN…’
    You should also ask your self, when peeing why women squat and men stand…… think!!…and by the way, we do have a variety of tv channels, just switch on to another channel…

    Like

    1. It’s so sad that local women think like this. so submissive that it can be classified as a form of safe hate. there is nothing attractive about a submissive wife. i want my wife to challenge my thinking and way of life, thus making me a better man. no wonder most Kenyan husbands are rarely at home. it’s a cancer in our society. broaden your mind

      Like

    2. Actually women squat just because it would be cumbersome to stand and pee. Am sure you learnt that from biology. But I wonder, does biology determine who should cook and clean and curtsey? Think about it! Or consult the Bible.

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  41. Exactly my thoughts, JohnPaul…it’s like porn or any other negative thing out there… we all know if you want to watch it you’ll get it, if you don’t you won’t. So if you don’t like the lady you’ve got so many other channels to try. You can even have a pass code for that Citizen Tv so your mentally strong kids don’t get affected by the negativity.

    Like

  42. There is no problem her telling us how to treat our men but she should also teach and explain to men on how to treat us period….we are not slaves we also need special treatment as much as they do. i wonder how she is ever one sided yet she is a woman..i also wonder if her husband was still alive she could do all those staffs to him??

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Balderdash. So is there ‘modern love”? there is no such thing as “modern woman” “modern man” > Both men and women have innate desire to be loved, to be respected. To feel whole. This is what te so-called modern woman is missing. And pleas dont refer to boys or girls, or even girlfriend, boyfriend. This programe is meant for husbands and wives. Any other unrelated person watching this programme does so at their own peril. You should therefore make use of the parental control function of your remote.

    Like

  44. I also think her teaching are soo much biased to men. Marriage is not a kingship where the man is the only king. It’s marriage. A wife is a partner to husband not a slave to the lazy king. Yes, submission is great but love comes before before and there is no way a lady should be left to do all in the name of submission. Today both husband and wives are working coming home equally tired and thus it would be unfair to leave all family chores to the wife in the name of submission. Hakuna! Bi. Msafiri is great but for 20th century. 21st Century marriage should be enjoyed by both husband N wife not one party.

    I love watching citizen TV but since I found she is biased to men kingship in marriage, Immediately after the news I choose a different station since I don’t want my people to be corrupted on a message that is in correct.

    I think there are more marriage experts

    Liked by 1 person

  45. I think you are just a bitter woman who no man wants to marry,…now you are laying your frustrations on mswafari…my advice,…take heed of what she says and in no time you will have your own family with a loving husband…With your attitude however,..you will die an old miserable woman..its as simple as that…men,…be they old,modern,learned,ignorant,…love a submissive woman,..we don’t want someone who talks back like am the one who should bare her children. And being submissive does not mean,being a slave…its just being respectful and doing what God intended you to do to your husband,…it’s very clear in all the holly books of the land. So badala ya kufua kichwa hapa,..be a good woman and do your duties.

    Like

    1. Hahahahah Why do men always assume that if you have an opinion you are unattractive.
      what if I am? Will it make you feel better?
      I bet you will tell all your friends how you had put this unatractive woman in her place?
      My physical aspecta are neither here nor there
      Now to being married, I feel like I am too young to get married. but when I do, you are invited to attend.
      I hope to God though that you are married. I wouldn’t want someone with your myopic view to be in the pool I will choose from.
      Say hi to your wife if you are married, she must be a very strong woman!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I think you’re just a bitter man who is domineering and God forbid, unhappily married . Now you are laying your frustrations on the writer… My advice, take heed of what she says so that your daughter will never have to grow up to meet and get married to men of your train of thought. With your attitude however, she will grow knowing no more than chauvinism. It’s as simple as that. So Badala Ya Kufua kichwa hapa, go be a good father, brother and husband.

      Like

  46. I have a daughter I expect if she chooses to get married she will meet a man that will love her and adore her. I expect nothing less. I think Andanje is being fearful in this petition. I concede that some of the things advised on the show are cringe-worthy depending on your upbringing, however, you miss a key point about men. What women want is an open question with no possible answer…NO ONE KNOWS FOR SURE…not even women themselves. BUT I will tell you what men want…take this unsolicited advice to the love bank…MEN WANT RESPECT. More than anything your man wants respect. Men think respect is LOVE…simple. You can be a goddess in our private space, but it will mean absolutely nothing if your man doesnt feel that you place his views up THERE. What this lady should do is summarize her kipindi that way. Respect your man, if you chose the right man, he will fall in love with you everyday. The conversation should stop being about “but he must love me first”….of course he must. Everyone should just do their part the sequence is irrelevant.

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    1. What do you mean by “women want an open question with no possible answer”? The sequence seems pretty relevant to me…don’t quite get you.

      Like

    2. But isn’t respect the building blocks of all relationships. We all want to be respected, it is only human to respect someone you are living with. I respect anyone no matter how insignificant they may seem. everyone from my parent to the guard. So to say that men want respect shouldn’t it make it easier with these battle of sexes?

      Like

  47. I think you are just a bitter woman who no man wants to marry,…now you are laying your frustrations on mswafari…my advice,…take heed of what she says and in no time you will have your own family with a loving husband…With your attitude however,..you will die an old miserable woman..its as simple as that…men,…be they old,modern,learned,ignorant,…love a submissive woman,..we don’t want someone who talks back like am the one who should bare her children. And being submissive does not mean,being a slave…its just being respectful and doing what God intended you to do to your husband,…it’s very clear in all the holly books of the land. So badala ya kufura kichwa hapa,..be a good woman and do your duties

    Like

    1. I imagine what your reply would have been had she advised men to stay faithful, spend their fortune on their woman and rub their tummy everytime they had a period.
      You’re for this because it’s working for you!

      Like

  48. this lady, Bi. Msafwari has echoed the teachings offered before and after marriage; from counselors, aunties and parents. All I get from her talks is RESPECT that leads to peaceful and loving union. This is not one sided but it works both ways. Why would anyone be offended by her message? We have so many bitter and hurting people who wish others to be on their boat. Reflect on your marriage but don’t be discouraged if you are yet to settle.

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  49. Speaking as a woman who has been hurt many times and who has little reason to trust the men out there, also speaking as a person who has watched Bi. Mswafari and finally speaking as a woman who has read this article. I have the following to say, yes times have changed but I don’t necessarily believe some things were meant to change and probably the reason why we fail is because we try to hard to change things we have no business changing. Bi. Mswafari is definitely extreme and backward but not all she says is untrue. I really don’t believe this fight should be a man vs woman fight, I assure all of u none of us will win and lastly but in no way the least, whether we as women want to accept it or not, there are roles for women and roles for men. This roles can not be shifted, complemented or substituted. There is nothing wrong with being a woman, mother, wife, career woman, sister, girl friend or daughter. And the best part is irrespective of how hard and tasking it is we can do it. If men are lazy bums as we say then why are we trying so hard to be them anyways.

    This is what my mother told me yesterday “tenda mema nenda zako” I realise how difficult it is to always give and receive nothing in return. But maybe that’s why we all fail. Coz we always expect to receive, some of us never giving at all.

    You meet a woman, u want her to give her body and soul and not dare ask for anything in return coz then she is a gold digger. You meet a guy, you expect endless dates, bills taken care off, credit etc without even wishing him a nice day in return.

    It should be a joy to give to someone u adore. The problem with relationships this days is the 50/50 school of thought. A relationship should ideally be 100/100. All should do their part entirely. Maybe that’s what Bi. Mswafari seem to forget.

    Thank you Adanje for ur article but don’t be like Bi. Mswafari don’t take a hard one sided stand. Our children fail coz we constantly take and make one sided arguments. This are not solutions only divisions.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Debby probably I am wrong, I have seen a few truths in your comment. I will tell you this though, I am a woman. I have seen the things women are put through. If a man had said this program is retrogressive people would have applauded him. But now, I must be a man-hating unattractive old maid. so excuse me for wanting to rise up from so many stereotypes. I can’t be like her mostly because i tend to fight for my own kind.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It looks like feminism has become a very much unpopular word. Associated with man-hating. It’s a pity how women shy from supporting their own kind for fear of being victimized.
        A feminism is NOT a man-hater. Neither is she sad and lonely. People!

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    1. What is it to you if am married. Oh wait, to have an opinion you really need to be married. Wait, are you married? or you are just another attention seeking man who finds joy in putting women down?

      Liked by 1 person

  50. Where are the papers i sign, i loath the solutions meted by this lady. Professional practicing counsellors, can tell you how a quack she is in marriage enrichment.

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  51. Women disregard your own’s advice at your peril. Keep yapping about modernity and the beneficiaries will be the mango wa kandos (aren’t they women anyway), twilight girls and divorce lawyers

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  52. Andanje, good article BUT, just like mswafari, you are on the other extreme end. School and education and modernism has nothing to do with being a woman in the house. In all settings, that professional girl should come to her house and become just a wife. Being a modern girl shouldn’t give a girl freedom to position herself at the top in a family setting!! No way, that is why, every guy nowadays unconsciously/consciously look for a modern girl as a side kick and a well educated but conservative mum as a mother of his permanent home. Bi. Mswafari has level of this understanding for HIS vis-a-vis HER needs. Which is different from what a modern girl needs; romance, treats, appreciation. Real men need real women and real women are those who can do those stuff that that mama is saying. My mind!

    Just separate professional success, modernism and valuable culture. My advice

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  53. This is bullshit!!!! It’s not Bi mswafari telling women to take care of men,religion is…..if u don’t wana take care of your man don’t worry some other desperate woman will

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  54. The first time my mother suggested I watch her segment, I thought she hated my guts. I had just gotten married and needed, more than ever, POSITIVE ENERGY that is both LOVING and DEVELOPMENTAL for our GROWTH as a family! Bi Mswafara says NOTHING in that direction… it’s all about the man. All those who think she’s the thing, go ahead and marry her. We live in a world of equal opportunity and if she will NOT stand for the girl child, she has no business being on TV AT ALL!

    Should the opportunity ever present itself (and I hope it does soon!), I will take her HEAD ON without blinking. Then we’ll see how us “wasomi” can’t keep our men as she claims. Such a shame to womenfolk!

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  55. Well its good you’ve caught our attention with this article. I think you are one of those modern women Bi.swafari has been heckling about,women who think modernization makes them the head ofthe house n reversing the reality…There are soo many in need of that advice n discourage the “NYERI WOMAN”

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  56. Not everything created on this planet will appeal to you, that’s why it is relatively easier to pick your remote and change the channel. As far as you are free to express your disgust in whatever platform you choose, it is important to note that issues regarding love and marriage are strictly between two people. The general thinking of ‘men’/’women’ or the basic evaluation of ‘the society’ will always leave you bitter. Nobody has asked you to marry the society so it doesn’t matter what the society thinks anyway. T.V programs will be there to create such controversy for “entertainment” purposes but you’ll be foolish to pick up weapons and wage war against another gender. This toxic thinking of a war between men and women is mostly brewed out of lack of logic. Whether this Bi Mswafari is on our screens or not, your judgement and level of compromise in your love and marriage squarely lies with you, not on what ‘men expect from women’.

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      1. It is not the work of the media to raise your children. One of the roles of being a parent is to control the content that goes into your child’s brain. Television is for business and doesn’t care about your child. You are the first line of defence.

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  57. Its ok when women bash men until someone comes and tells them the truth, I am fully in support of her right to advise as nairobi diaries , the vera sidikas and huddah also give their advise etc

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      1. You seem to be responding to this comments with bitterness- I thought this writing will engage us in to constructive conflicts!!

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  58. Andaje, I will find you and buy you a drink(or two). It’s so exhausting having to explain yourself to people… ‘no I’m not a bra burning feminist just because I don’t want to have kids or get married right now,’ ‘maybe I will want to have kids later but now I don’t,’ ‘no I will not back down when faced with blatantly misogyny.’ I see you have noticed as well, how when you have an opinion you are either ugly and no man wants you or you are bitter and unmarried. Women do not have to be defined by men(even though the name is). I refuse to be judged by my gender when I am working harder than a man and only get half the recognition. I haven’t watched her show but from what I am reading, I am appalled. I do not understand why women are each other’s worst enemies. Men, band together, hence the boys club, old boys network… Women just tear each other down. On the rape issue, wtf! Do we blame someone for being hijacked because their car was too pretty and the thieves have no self control? I hate that we live in a society where we make it ok to shame and blame the victims. Let’s not teach our girls to aspire to marriage. It’s beautiful when done right(or so I hear) but we are more than just wives, we are people in our own right, otherwise your brain would dissolve when you get married. I always say if I find the right partner, I will get married, if not, oh well it’s not the end of the world

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like you 🙂 let’s be friends? 😆

      People should stop interpreting feminism as man hating and no, we don’t need a man to validate us.
      Bearing kids? It’s our body! Surely we can decide what happens to it?

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  59. We are behind her, Be Mswafari teaches the so called mordern woman how to treat and leave with a husband, not about male Egoism ,the so called morden women don’t want to hear her, there is nothing like a equality in marriage ,male Is superiour in in everything ,no wonder marriages cannot thrive nowadays, devorces rate will escallate

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  60. Sorry Andanje bcoz me have never watched that bi mswafiri since am ever in control the remote so wacha kusumbua wakenya na kelele zako…….alot of channels to choose from

    Like

  61. Dear citizen TV kindly take Bi.Msafari where she belongs already …..we all know the only program she should be featured in is #slimpossible

    Bi Msafari is not only a disgrace to women but a disgrace to the whole country as well i think she got too much fat it’s affecting her brain

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  62. Do you watch her show under any coercion or your TV has only one channel? Your letter is nothing but an attack on her person than the theme, and I think you are just trying to find an avenue to bring her down. Let them who values her advice continue listening to her and kindly start your show which will teach exactly opposite and soon you will be re-known and you wont lack some followers who will end up destroying their marriages. Popularity seeking Kenyans who would post anything!

    Like

    1. Statistics do not lie,regions where female empowerment is considered high cases of singleness,single mothers and high divorce rates speak for itself. I think the modern mother has failed to realize that empowerment of the girl child should not be used to undermine the family values of man being the head of the family. Let’s empower our girls but lets teach them that the man is always going to remain traditionally in matters of marriage and family. Women need to respect there men the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31 and Abigail. Money is not equal to power shift and balance in family setting.

      Like

  63. @Wairimu….You should also ask your self, when peeing why women squat and men stand…… think!!…and by the way, u r in control of that remote control… take charge…in todays digital world we have a variety of channels..

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  64. I agree with the teachings of bi Msafari. what she needs to improve maybe is also discussing the role of a husband and even each member of the family.success of any relationship depends on the love you feel for each other. the only challenge we have is that the law of ”diminishing of marginal returns” (economics) applys here. if you have been to an economics class u actually know how to apply this. it states that consumption at a point of need is very high and reduces as the need is satisfied. at the point of starting marriage you are so in to each other and as time ages you find yourselves loosing interest of each other. application which woman should apply… when a man looses interest on u what you need to do is make him miss the moments by stopping to pumper him but only do your common duties. no extra ”things”, the problem with us men once you do that we always say that you are not the only point of satisfaction and find satisfaction outside forgetting that outside sources are not healthy for the relationship and will always bring mistrust and to extreme end, it always cost the relationship or even our own lives. women also do the same.
    the only source of satisfaction in any relationship should be found within, no outsourcing. at the same time we need to be industrious in terms of needs and find satisfaction within. outsourcing should be on consultation and approval by all the parties.

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  65. Bi mswfari this……. Maina Kageni that……… Why let your time and lives be controlled by these individuals who are doing what they are doing to earn their own living? Even the writer of this post, that’s their end game. Earn something from this. So if you spend all your productive time debating about these “non-issues”, ask not of why your problems aren’t getting resolved.

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  66. where is the petition i will sign it immediately, if citizen TV do not have enough programs to air please ask for a better program we are sick of bi mswafari

    Like

  67. I have no problem with Bi Mswafiri…the program is not forced on you neither are you watching under duress…it’s purely your choice to keep watching and watching even when you so proclaim that you are tired of it! You wait patiently and on satutday rather than watch the other over 100 channels you pick your remote and tune in to citizen tv…LOL its even tickling Hmmnn how ironical yet the remote is in your own house and the TV is your own not citizen’s hmmnn

    Like

  68. It’s funny how someone can post an article and start insulting people who give their own liberal point of views on the article. I agreed with your post at first, but after reading the comments, I hated the fact that you’re an egocentric maniac… Perhaps it’s about time you realize keeping an open mind is the best way to drive your point home because no matter how liberal you see yourself to be, not everyone will agree with your views.

    Like

    1. Karani, you do realise that I have been giving my own liberal opinion as well. How is it that when I do it’s egocentric?
      I do have an open mind that’s why I have agreed with every comment that gave both sides of the coin. Did yoi really like the post at first? If you did would you be looking for reasons to unlike it? Look at the posts I didn’t agree with, they chose to insult me as a person. That is not allowed in the literal space. Attack my work but don’t attack me as a person.

      Like

  69. I refer you to https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Ephesians%205:22-33
    Don’t you ever wonder why divorce rates have skyrocketed nowadays? We all have a role to play in our homes and I think our mums and grandmums understood this better than we do. Being submissive does not equate to being a slave. It means showing humility whether you’re a career woman or not. It means that you’ve earned your spouses love and above all respect. And truthfully what man doesn’t want to be treated like a king in his hse and same goes for the woman. It’s not a fight, two lions can’t stay in the same pride..there needs to be a lion and a lioness both taking their places of pride for their to be peace.

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  70. Andaje, your opinions are (from your perspective and of those who agree with them) valid and sound but the real beauty lies in the fact that you live in an age where you CAN express those opinions in a public forum.

    I will not get drawn into whether or not the woman’s views are right, that is not the contribution I wish to make. Mine is simply that we cannot afford to go back to the age where people’s opinions were silenced simply because some sections of society did not agree with them.

    As you have clearly said above, people ought to let you express your opinion, therefore kindly, afford the old lady similar treatment by withdrawing your petition.

    Parting shot – the same constitutional right that allows you to express your opinions here is the same one that will keep Bi Mswafari on the Kenyan airwaves (until the day either of you break the law in expressing those views).

    Love to all!

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  71. I listened to her once and was totally flabbergasted.Any one who talks about rape and all other forms of abuse that casually doesnt belong on our screens. Her approach and delivery of content is wanting in many ways. And if she got females in her home woe unto them coz clearly she hates education and the liberation it brings to human kind. Those are many generations of slaves she has tucked under her belt and she wants to use citizen to draw more? I say no! For my sons and daughters. …I want to sign the petition.

    Like

  72. Hate will take no none anywhere and I suspect Andanje would wish to get airplay but unfortunately people with your hate and dislike never pass the test. You should be accommodative of divergent views from anyone including Bimswafwari.

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  73. If I were you, I would probably just switch to another station or watch a movie or something! It would immensely save you from the unnecessary anger emanating from within the confines of your heart. Find something that is likely to generate love for you. It’s good for your health, you know!

    But then again, I’m not you.

    The point is, a lot of people are bound to have opinions and beliefs completely divergent to yours. If you are going to spend your life hating them, then you’ll probably die young. And just because they hold opinions contrary to yours does not make them stupid. Or wrong even. Also just because you have a different point of view does not make you right, you know! Or even more clever.

    The point is. The marriage institution needs some sort of rules or norms to function amicably. Bi. Mswafiri is simply trying to share what she feels is the right manner in which a marriage should be run. How a wife and a husband should behave. She is simply sharing her experience, an experience that probably worked out well for her marriage. Modern or not, a woman and a man needs to certain rules to govern their marriage and how they relate to to one another in this setup.

    Criticizing the woman for the sake of criticism is not enough. Not by a long shot. If you feel her point of view is wrong, then what is your alternative? Why do you think that alternative is superior to hers. Has it worked well for you? When you tell your Mary that she is modern and stop at that, what exactly are you teaching her? Nothing, I should think so.

    Still, the title was catchy!

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  74. I am a “msomi” and her teachings are one sided and they can’t work for a wife and mother like me who has a one year old, a full time job and classes to attend. Will I nurse baby or his father? Besides, why is it always about men? Who teaches men how to treat women? Every relationship should settle for what works for it.

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  75. A husband and wife are both equal, but a wife must be submitted to her husband which is the order of God. Submission as taught to me in pre- marital class means power under authority and through experience it’s the greatest tool a woman has over her husband.

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  76. laughter i think it raises eyebrows and beats logic that whoever wrote this script really forget his or her work,fellow kenyan refrain making this blogger trend ,i think this person is driven by malicious minds …listen ,bi mswafari ain’t in your league and neither is she your intellectual peer nor can you read on the same scripts ,SHOULD you target someone unfairly to gain POPULARITY?

    Like

    1. Huh but people like you exhaust me. Intellectual peer? That is not a word you just throw around! If this is a popularity contest to you, then of course you came to the wrong podium and wrong Script whatever that means.

      Like

  77. Jaz depends on the direction you take. If you take East you go overboard, if you take West you go overboard also, the way is somewhere in the middle. Av blessed day.

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  78. Bi Mswafari is right besides, she hasn’t forced anyone to do what she says. This blogger forgot that freedom of speech is more vital in our constitution than the petition thing you talk about here. Anyways good luck with your petition

    Like

  79. Instead of venting here, why don’t you switch channels whenever she is in studio. I think the reason why people are hating on her is because she call a spade a spade and not a big spoon. Truth is bitter remember.

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  80. For a society to develop both men and women need to be empowered. You cannot ask for better services, quality of life etc for your family if your mother, wife, sister does not even have a chance. We are not asking you to give it to us but atleast create an environment for it. Women will also not get empowered if the men do not allow it because they are part of this society. Men dont be afraid of the empowered woman, its actually to your advantage; you no longer have to be the one expected to buy the house or car, nolonger expected to pay the bill and how wonderful would it be to see your sister or that neighbour having the means to get out of a bad marriage – because she can. Its also unrealistic to expect us to go to work and be home in time to make you a king size dinner – i mean have you seen the Nairobi traffic yet? change is good. Lets be real.

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  81. Thank you lord! At least I got someone who is pissed of just like iam with bi msafari teachings, for real many times she doesn’t add value to our lives in the modern life, she said”a man is the boss, no questions for what he does, just be submissive, even if he comes home with another woman, wake up n give them food”, for real????

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  82. totally agree with whoever wrote this. though I don’t watch TV, I get my news from the newspapers or YouTube, and social media, fat lady cannot reach me there.sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

  83. eehh who wrote this article think she smoked half baked weed, Mum is teaching us what the bible says with surporting evidence thats why a woman was made a helper the head is the man, i gues you not married!!!

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  84. My opinion here is not the right or wrong that Bi Mswafiri does with her TV show, but with the freedom of speech that is anchored in our constitution. The constitution give the freedom and rights of expression to every individual citizen albeit with certain conditions, which to me Bi Mswafari hasn’t messed with. As such, the onus is on you to shift the channel when her TV show pops up or simply switch off the TV and find some other things that will make you busy at that time. Petitioning for the removal of lady portrays you and your ilk as some of those people who can’t stomach the opinions of others which are divergent from your, which in the current dispensation, is unacceptable.

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  85. I assume a digital television set box or TV has over 20 channels its your choice to watch what you feel like I guess those were your personal thought cos as for me Bi. MSWAFIRI hits both left right and centre wife/husband to mothr/father in-laws or maybe
    1.You have language barrier between you two.
    2.You are one of those modern woman who expect to come home find your husband has already cooked you sit watch eat shower sleep…..(did you say your mum disagree) what are the vies of Dad hope yuko..?

    Like

    1. Josiah, yes my mom disagrees. My dad doesn’t watch her. I should probably ask him to and then see what he has to say. But seeing that he is the one who raised me into the woman I am, I doubt he will agree with her. Now you are the sort of man who
      1) believe ni disciplining any woman who doesn’t agree with your thought process
      2. Who will sit back and watch as men get away with disrespecting women. What does your mother think of that if she is alive?

      Like

  86. i think its time we get out of the old way of thinking, I need that petition we sign. i agree there are gender roles and wives need to be submissive, bt according to her, women are supposed to worship husbands who are busy sitting on their heads. infact i stopped watching that nonsense

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I believe marriage is all about respect from both sides,you can get advises and they will never be useful to you,the two people come together to shape their destiny from what they believe they can do together.Being submissive not cooking and doing all the house work alone as a wife.In fact if my hubby helps me in cooking when am late from work.For those who are talking about bills i also help him pay bills,Treat your man the way you treated him when you were dating because that what made him make you her will.Bi MSwafari has her own way of thinking i don’t think she remembers to treat her husband like that.# For Marriage to work the two people should table there problems and solve them together.I don’t listen to marriage counselors i better play with my kids.

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  87. There are over 60 tv/radio local channels on TV almost all of tem have a relationship segment..you seem to have a personal isue with her..just change the yoyr preferred channel. .

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  88. The Genesis story tells it all about marriage a man was given his responsibility and the woman hers. You simply hate Bi Msafari and she doesn’t care either, am suprised someone calling the bible outdated. Pwahahahahahahahahahahahahhaaa really, is the author married? So many people have testified how the program is helping them. Lakini mambo yako tumeskia, again, there are so many destructive programmes than this petition against them

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  89. I really do not understand why a TV station would bring someone to “advice” the public, someone who doesn’t respect herself enough to realize that being FAT isn’t acceptable. This woman has no of idea what she is talking about. I turn off my TV because I dont want my kids thinking you can be fat and make it to a TV station.
    Gararahia

    Like

    1. Eliudk08

      It is your opinion, but its not fare to attack her on her physical appearance because you may find one of your own children taking such a shape and size. You need to apologize.

      Like

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