It used to be fun having male friends. The twins in pre school who always brought me pancakes. Pascal the class bully who played police and robber with me every Wednesday when the class teacher was off. He would just slap me and start running( Of course it was all fun and games until I caught him). And on and on the list goes on.
Apparently the older you become the more awkward these relationships get. Awkward because you start seeing each other as bait and potential lays.
I should probably dispute this but I haven’t made a male friend in eons. Plus I have fallen out with a few. Its just that when a friend gets into a relationship I always step back. And mine have been getting into a lot of relationships. (So much for growing old together lol)
This is not the point of this post. The point of this post comes in the form of a story
I met Mark a couple of months ago. In a supermarket if you can believe it. Supermarket are for buying tissues and soap and occasional hot dogs when you are not doing the 21 day no wheat challenge ( the things we do), not to meet boys. See my myopic view point lol.
So I am in an aisle in the basement when a voice asks
“How do you choose tissue paper?”
If you know me, when am alone my nose is pretty much stuck up in the air ( I appear snobbish) and don’t care for small chitchats.
“The whitest,” I say and walk away.
At the end of the aisle I remember a pal of mine saying that I am too choosey and have too high standards when it comes to men. All this is because I haven’t dated for a while ( I could say the number of years but then you are a judgy lot).
So, I decide I might as well be polite to this guy. He has the height, hair a bit messy ( I hadn’t gone the messy route myself) and a nice enough voice.
So I turn back like a KBS bus and pretend to go to the tissue area. I didn’t want said guy to start celebrating just yet.
“I usually just take the whitest,” I say in a demure voice.
Do you know how hard it is to change my bass to a demure female like screetch? It is damn hard. But I do it anyway.
Tissue guy looks up and smiles. Beautiful smile. I can work with that.
“You have cute dimples by the way” he says his finger trying to poke one-I never get why people do that.
I duck and refrain from saying “I know” and give a mellow thank you instead.
That does it. Seal the deal I mean. Dude starts following me around the supermarket. Giving me unsolicited advice about what lotion is best and what he likes. Which roll on to pick.He tells me how long his shopping will last and how mine will last him even more. I shop. He talks.
I kept thinking this is what relationships are all about. One of you talking while the other pretends to listen. Round and round we went. All the while I am reminding myself that this is what normal people do.
I am impulsive let me at least admit that much. He feeds my impulse by carrying all the stuff am buying.
I don’t even have to push the trolley at this point.
When am done with shopping he instructs the guy on how to wrap them.
Of course at this point I need to put on the brakes lest he insists on taking me home.
The next logical step is coffee. We exchange numbers.
That day the needy guy asks what I will wear to the date. He doesn’t want us not to match he says. “Just wear something casual,” I say. He wants to talk colours and fabric. “Don’t wear jeans though,”he tells me. I indulge the guy. “I won’t,”.
Texts are harmless right?
That was in November. Dude today just decides, you know what I had a coffee date with coodinated outfits with this lady last year. So out of the blues he texts me.
How do men do that. Pick up where they left off four months later. Am sure in his head he thought that for four months I sat twiddling my thumbs waiting for him. I don’t even wait for people who reply to my texts an hour later why would I wait for four bloody months?
See that I don’t get.
Anyway the day I will be in need of colour coodinating clothes and a coffee I will call him. We will pick up where we left of next June, probably.
Was there a point to this post?
1. I wanted to beat this publishing block I have.
2. Wanted to highlight that these ‘picking up were we left off tactics’ never work unless the female likes you or is ‘desperate’.
3. Sometimes we go through a whole relationship in 15 minute lol.
4. If you like someone work fast. Reminds me, I should start liking some people.:-)