Every single one of us at one time in our lives will be cheated on. It is a fact of life. Humans are strange that way. It is said that we are not meant to be monogamous. Of course, we twist this however we want. The most common twisting is that men are more entitled to cheat than women because it’s in their genes. We can argue this however we like but that is not the aim of this post. The aim of this post is to tell the women who have been cheated on that, it is not your fault. After realizing it is not your fault you will start looking for a worthy spouse and stop compromising on the kind of men you let in your life.
To argue the point further, Beyoncé was also cheated on according to her latest album. The question on our lips was how could Jay-Z cheat on her? John, of course, threw in, “all men cheat. We were never meant to be monogamous”. This time, Mary had nothing to say. I couldn’t blame her, though, all women were in shock. The problem is that men have gotten away with cheating for so long; we forgot to see that it is their fault and hence let society blame us. Three reasons why he cheats:-
He is a natural pursuer
Also known as womanizers these are men who love the chase. According to Don-David Lusterman, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist and author of Infidelity: A Survival Guide, pursuers often have a narcissistic personality disorder. They crave and demand affection and attention but are not able to return it in kind. So if you find a man who wants you to be faithful while he runs around with Mary and Caro, you need to understand that there is nothing you can do to keep him faithful. It is unfortunate that we are given a manual of what to do for our men to stop them from cheating. Reality hits hard when we realize the bloody manual was never meant to serve us. It was meant to serve the men in our lives. To ensure that he ate, that he was treated like a king while he slept with anything that moved and we get blamed for it.
He got into a relationship too early. There is nothing worse than looking over your shoulder at things you wish you had. Most men who commit to long-term relationships will look over their shoulders. Committing prematurely is a major cause of cheating. It is simply the cheaters fault and not your fault. If he wasn’t ready he shouldn’t have committed right? These are people who may not have tasted enough of everything. Unfortunately contentment to them will always be an issue.
Society has made it alright for men to cheat. Apparently it is in their genes. There is nothing they can do about it. There are studies that have been dedicated to this sort of thing. This is to show that man has no free will. I wouldn’t want to date a man who is at the mercy of his ‘gene’. This is the same person who believes that he doesn’t have to work hard for anything because the universe will give him his dues. Besides Dr. Peter Kramer, MD, says People who enter into long-term monogamous relationships, and who really keep their promises, “tend to be very healthy mentally,”
Sure it has been argued that men will cheat because they are not getting what they want from their spouses. If he is not getting his emotional/physical needs met at home he will find someone else to fill it. But a mature man will sit you down and talk about these issues before he goes ahead and gets his needs fulfilled by someone else out of the relationship.
In conclusion, It is not your fault that someone decides to cheat. He was faced with two choices, he chose the most gratifying one and he should not make you feel guilty. Society should not make you question yourself as a woman and how much of yourself you should give. So-called relationship experts would actually go on TV and state with eyes opened wide that the man who cheats on you is doing so because you cannot cook, because you don’t kneel when he comes home from work, because you have flabby arms and stretch marks which by the way are testament to the three children that you bore him.
Truth: Cooking, being submissive and being his personal cleaning lady will not stop him from cheating!